Friday, April 30, 2010

Learning A Lesson

As most of you know, Shane and Owen are both playing tennis. Shane has been after me to enter him into a tournament, which I decided to go ahead and do since he was so insistant on it. I knew that there was a probability that he wouldn't win but I thought that he is usually not one to step out of his comfort zone so I should allow him to do that. It was a few weeks ago so this is a little late but better late than never I always say!

Bottom line is that he took what could have been a negative experience and turned it into something positive.

He got with his tennis coach on the Friday night before the tournament to go over any questions that he may have. Art did a great job preparing him for what he may (and would!) face. He went over what to do if kids made bad calls, tie breaks, hinderance, etc.

Flash forward to Saturday and we were in the tennis center waiting on his first match and the kid that he would play first came in. The boy had already played a match and was complaining to the tournament director that the kid that he had just played (the second kid that Shane had to play) had taken too many water breaks between games and said that he thought that the kid was cheating. The official cleared it up that the kid wasn't cheating as long as play resumed within time limits. The kid was mad.

I was thinking great. Shane's first experience is going to be with a kid who tries to break and question all of the rules. Ugh.

So they got into warm up and the kid had a good strong topspin forehand. Something that Shane isn't use to. Shane was making bad returns and shots and just wasn't settling down. Shane's first shot of the game was a winner and the kid called it out.

It wasn't out. It was on the line wide.

Shane went to the net and asked the kid if he was sure about that call (just as he had been instructed to do) and the kid hemmed and hawed. At that point, the line judge stepped in (because he was standing there) and told the kid that if he wasn't sure that he had to call it in.

So the kid went onto win the set 6-0. Shane just couldn't settle down.

Shane settled down and came back and won the second set and the match went into a tie break. He did a great job of neutralizing the kids forehand. He moved him around the court and continued to make him hit on the run. Particularly to his backhand. He also set several shots where he took the kid wide and off the court and then hit the next shot down the line. He did that about 7 times.

At one point, they played a point twice and agreed that the score was 15/15. They played the point again and the kid lost. At that point, the kid realized that they got it wrong and argued that it was his point. The official happened to be standing there and told him that they agreed upon the point, played it and it would stand.

In the tie break, the kid suddenly developed a cough. That only occurred as the ball was crossing the net. :-|

Anyway, Shane lost the tie break 10-5.

He came off of the court really deflated. His comment was "I guess I'm not as good as I thought."

He was tired and not in a good frame of mind going into the second match. The second match the kid was trying to get him to go on earlier but I told them no.

Shane fell apart in the second match. The kid had a really strong forehand with a tremendous amount of pace that Shane had never played against and it just threw him off. He just couldn't find the court and you could just see the energy leave him. He also had not come up against a serve with that much pace.

I knew he was in trouble when he called out the second game of the second set as 0-8. He never gets the score wrong. He wasn't calling balls out that were sooooo out (like 6-8 inches.) I think that he just mentally checked out.

He was really very defeated. He didn't cry though which was good. You couldn't tell how upset he was. (He said he bit his tounge and it started bleeding which helped threw him off.)

So we talked about it the next day and I talked him down off the ledge. Honestly, I thought that he may never want to play tennis again. Any other kid would have probably shrugged it off but Shane tends to internalize everything.

By the end of our conversation, he understood that he did a great job in the first match winning a set and coming back from a 0-6 loss in the first set. He did a great job assessing what his opponent wasn't strong it and used it to his advantage.

He was able to put things into perspective.

He said a few things that were kind of an "aha" moment.

1. I'm not as good as I thought I was.

While it sounds bad, it's actually a very adult realization that you aren't the best at something and you have faults.

2. I never realized how much I have to learn about tennis.

This is the best statement ever. He is receptive to learning. That is great! He thought he knew it all before.

3. What can I do to get better so I'll be ready to play against those types of kids again? I want to work on handling forehands with topspin and handle pace on serves.

He picked up this slice backhand and he likes the shot. He does not have command of this shot. It's weak (although his form is good and eventually he will be able to do it) and I told him to not do it during the match. Stick to what he's good at and what he "owns." He did it. He got burned but he kept doing it. He agreed after the tournament that maybe that wasn't the best shot selection and he shouldn't be doing that (or any shot) that is going to get him into trouble. He said he should have listened to me. Well, duh.

There were several things that I noticed about his play that he definitely needs to work on (where he was serving and receiving from, recovering from a wide shot ball, court placement, sitting down between games/sets to compose himself, taking his time serving and settling down on the court) but I'll deal with those later.

So that's about it. Overall, it was a good experience long term and he understands that. He's a very reasonable child which is going to help him here as well as life!

3 comments:

ginny said...

You are a good mom to help him see the positives in a hard learning experience. It's tough sometimes to be a kid, you make the journey easier for both your boys.

Rhonda Sisk said...

Overcoming the mental game is the hardest thing to do with kids. You have to help them gain confidence through the tough situations and you did just that. I remind the boys all the time that they can work out of a sticky situation because they have done it before whether it be in school, sports, or life using times like you have spoken of as examples. it really helps them feel less defeated. Good job!

Kim Eckhardt said...

Thanks mom.

Overcoming the mental part is the hardest. Especially with Shane...my very own version of Avery. ;) You know exactly what I mean, too! :)