Saturday, August 30, 2008

School Teacher Assignments and Other Fun Stuff

So, the kids have their teacher assignments for this year and I think it's going to be a great year. In the past, the school would post the classroom assignments on the school doors. It was like a stampede to see who was in what class and it was chaotic at best.

This year they sent post cards to the kids with their teacher assignments.

It was just like when I was a kid waiting for the postman to deliver the card. I distinctly remember sitting in the yard (in the hot sun) waiting for the postman.

And then racing inside to burn up the phone lines to call my friends and see who got what teacher. Happy that my friends were in my class or sad that they weren't and there was always the "oh man...that kid is in my class?"

Owen was really disappointed that his BFF isn't in his class. I can't say that I am. They were too disruptive in class. But he does have some nice kids from Mrs. King in his class.

Shane and Josie are once again together. True love, I tell ya. True love.

And it seemed that he has a really good class until I looked at the name right across from his desk.

It's the kid that was picking on him on the bus that I had to go to the Vice Principal about. You may remember the one. The one who stuck his head under the seat and threatened to stick a sharpened pencil in his head if he told.


Well. This isn't good. He is already a little apprehensive about starting new things and this isn't going to help. At all.

My first reaction was to go straight to the teacher and get the kid moved. I talked to Shane and he said that it was okay and that the situation had resolved itself last year and he could handle it.

So...I backed off.

Probably because Ken was there telling me to chill out. And, I actually listened to him for once.

And, if you know me at all, you know that I'm pretty strong willed to say the least. Chilling out is not one of my strong points. To say the least.

But, I didn't push it.

BUT...I reserve the right to go to the teacher in the future. Shane asked me not to get involved. So I won't. I will let him handle it. But...I will deal with the kid or his parents if necessary.

Or Maybe I'll just show up to their lunch next week and will give him the "mean mommy look."

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Cha-Ching...It's Payday, Baby!

As a mom, I rarely ever make the money that I should. Let's face mom makes what she's worth.

But, sometimes, the Gods smile down upon me and I am rewarded for all of the dirty undies and socks that I daily pick up off the floor or whereever else they happened to land.

Check out my paycheck yesterday:

Cha-ching, baby!

And how did I make this, you ask?

Simply by doing the laundry.

It's a chore that I do almost daily. Oh, sometimes I make a dollar or some change but I really hit the jackpot this time.

It was in the dryer after I folded all of the clothes. Sitting there rewarding me because the gods knew that I did NOT want to do laundry.

The rule of finders keepers definitely applies here. Although, even though I didn't have to, I did give Ken a few dollars back for lunch. LOL

Thanks, Ken! :)

Monday, August 25, 2008

The Typical Grocery Shopping Trip - With Kids Part II

Regular readers of my blog may remember a post a few months back that documented my typical grocery shopping trip with the boys.

I got several emails from people who stated that:

1) This wasn't real and it had to be staged,
2) I was out of my mind for taking pictures in a grocery store and
3) My kids are nuts. was real.

And, I am out of my mind. Who wouldn't be after taking kids to the grocery store?

And they are nuts. Definitely.

And, they do act like that at the grocery store. Every single time. You can bank on it.

They "think" that they are being slick and usually sneak under the cart when I've got my back turned.

Well...that's okay. Because while they "think" they are punking me, I'm actually buying veggie cheese and sticking it into the cart while they're preoccupied with trying to punk me.

Of course, I pile the other food on top of it so they don't see it.

And it never goes on the bottom of the cart. Because they will see it.

It's the same concept as throwing their stupid McDonalds toys away and piling trash on top of it and putting it in the center of the bag so they don't see it through the outside of the bag.

If you have kids, you know what I mean. :)

Anywho....I should also state that I emphatically told them that they WOULD behave and would NOT be going under the cart when we got into the car, when we pulled into the parking lot and AGAIN when we walked through the door.

These children are brain dead.

Check out Shane's form. I know...awesome, right?

They are having the time of their lives. Shane is almos 70 pounds and is really too big to be shoving his 9 year old body under the cart.

But he does it. Even if he has to kick Owen in the face in the process.

I think that this is the part of the program where Owen starts to protest how much room Shane has taken up.

While he's protesting he is "forgetting" the fact that he was told not to do it. And when I remind him of that, he starts protesting that he was never told that.

And, the cycle goes on...same as the last trip to the grocery store. Sigh.

And, as it always happens, they ask if they can have twenty five cents for the toy machine conveniently located at the checkout register.

When I say no because they misbehaved and did what I told them not to, they protest loudly that they were good.

This is one of the rare times that they are in complete agreement with each other.

But...ah...what's that I hear?

The school buses gearing up for school.

Yea! Grocery shopping in peace again. :)

Sunday, August 24, 2008

They've Got A Sense of Direction

Shane and Owen can't seem to find the laundry hamper to put their dirty undies in it.

But, they sure can find the Toys R Us.

In another town.

That they have only been to but a handful of times.

On the way back from Clemson yesterday, we decided to swing by the Toys R Us and pick up a few Mario and Pokemon things for my friends' sons.

But, I've only been there once myself and wasn't sure exactly where it was.

So, I told Shane and Owen that I wasn't sure where it was and they told me that it was further down Clemson Blvd. towards the mall.

I say to them "are you SURE about that? I thought it was closer towards Clemson."

They both said yes. No question, mom. We definitely haven't passed it.

Then Shane sees the car dealership that is behind it and says "yeah...that is behind it. It's coming up, mom."

Owen was in total agreement.

Then, we see the back of the Toys R Us building.

And, Owen says "that's it's the blue building."

And, there was a blueish building.

Mind you, I still haven't seen a sign for it but I blindly turn into the driveway.

Following the directions of a 5 year old and an 8 year old.

And, they were right.

It was Toys R Us.

Now, if we could just get them to find the laundry basket, that would be just lovely.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Owen's Got A Plan

I told Shane to go and get his backpack out of the van.

SHANE: "Mom, I don't want to go by myself because I may get kidnapped."

OWEN: "Don't worry Shane, I'll kick them in the penis if they try to kidnap you."

Friday, August 22, 2008

The Best Thing About Anderson

I love to listen to Shane's conversations with his friends. They're just so funny.

In the car the other day, Shane and his friend Rachel were having a conversation about different places to go.

SHANE: Have you ever been to Anderson, SC?


SHANE: Well, you should go.

RACHEL: What's so great about Anderson?

SHANE: Well, first off they have Denney's. Second, they have Nanny and Poppa and third they have Skins Hotdogs. Oh man. Those are the best hotdogs ever.

RACHEL: Okay. I'll ask my mom if we can go.


Thursday, August 21, 2008

156 Days



This was what Santa left for us while we were at Disney - a tree that fell only halfway over and had to be cut down. Right beside the house. I "guess" we were naughty last year.

I have no excuse other than we sux.

We are sooooooo on top of things.

* Thanks to Scott for cutting down the tree!

** And, thanks to Michael for helping Ken haul it away.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Winning The War...One Battle At A Time

Some of you may remember a post a while back about the war that I am at with my family and their eating. Although I haven't posted much about it, I'm still at war. It's just a silent, sneaky war.

And the best part? They don't even know it. It's much easier to do battle with an enemy that doesn't know that they're at war. LOL.

One major battle ground is lunch. Like typical kids, their two favorite lunches are PB&J and grilled cheese sandwiches. And that's it.

I found a way to make the grilled cheese sandwich a little more nutritious and wanted to share it with you so you too could win that battle.

My friend Emily introduced me to Veggie cheese.

Veggie cheese?

Yes. Veggie cheese.

She assured me that her kids loved it so I tried it.

The first time I made it, my husband even liked it.

Until he saw the package. And, now he won't touch a grill cheese sandwich if it has yellow cheese (because it's the only time I use yellow cheese). Apparently, I am not quite the sneaky chef that I thought I was because I broke one of the cardinal rules. Rule #1 - hide the stuff. ;)

But, but, in my defense, I kept it so I would know the expiration date. I didn't want them to get sick, after all. Now, I just put that kind of stuff away. Far, far away.

Anyway, back to why you're reading the post.

First, you'll notice the cheese looks the same as processed American cheese.

Looks the same - check.

And it melts like regular cheese.

Cooks the same - check.

And, here's the important part, it tastes like regular cheese.

Tastes the same - check.

Rounding out their lunch with blueberries, carrots and V8 juice makes it a great lunch in my book.


This lunch is healthy and they ate it all without a fight.

So, yes. I'm winning the war. Or, at leat I'm one step ahead of them.

But, as a good general, I'm always changing my tactics and I'm constantly on the look out for new products on the market to help in this war, which I'll post about later. (I found the cheese in the organics section of the produce department.)

Give it a try and let me know if your kids (or your husband!) like it. But, just remember to hide the cheese package. Otherwise, you'll lose this battle.

And, definitely drop me an email if you make the grilled cheese sandwiches and your kids like (or don't like) them!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


I was busy making dinner the other night and Ken walks by me and says "Is Owen allowed to get gumballs whenever he wants?"

I said no and looked around to find Owen in the container of gumballs.

Owen said something like 'grumble, grumble, grumble...whatever" and continues to get the gumball.

Ken proceeds to go into the cabinet and grab a snack.

Owen walks over to me and says loud enough for Ken to hear: "Mom. Is daddy allowed to get yogurt covered prezels all willy nilly whenever he wants?"

Ken proceeds to get the pretzels even though I said no.


Monday, August 18, 2008

What Is It, Mom?

On our way home from the Fourth of July, Shane started telling us about this freaky "thing" that he saw that had "big bulging eyes on the top of his head." He said that he could see through it.

He didn't know what it was but it sounded like a crab. It really creeped him out and he was afraid to go to sleep because it may come and find him.

Nine miles away. In an condo.

We had to assure him that it would not. Of course, that was difficult when Owen kept saying things like "owww...the "creepy" fish is going to find you and get you."


Anyway, I think that this is what he saw.

Just don't bring it up to him, okay? Because he will be in my bedroom tonight about 10 if you do. :)

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Pawleys Island...A Few More Shots

Here are a few more shots of Pawleys Island. These are some of my favorite landscape shots.

And, yes, I'm perfectly aware that I have a sickness.


Saturday, August 16, 2008

We Have A Diagnosis!

Apparently there is now a name for my "self portrait" problem. And, to my surprise, it is a known medical condition. Sad enough, it was brought to the forefront by a comic strip.

In addition to my own problem, I have also suck other people into it. Counselors call people like that "enablers." Secretly, they like to do it too.

Well, at least I have a diagnosis!

Friday, August 15, 2008

The Worrier

If you know Shane, you know he's a worrier.

And, it seems to magnify right before bed. I do think that part of it is his way of putting off bed.

But the other part is real and his worries do tend to come out at night.

Evidentially he had a bad dream a few years ago that Owen was in the car and the floor board fell out and he was, um, hurt.

Well, Shane is still worried about it. And right before bed tonight, he brought it up again.

I told him to instead think about how he was going to spend his birthday money, since it's absolutely burning a hole in his pocket.

SHANE: I'll buy Owen some health insurance in case that dream comes true.

ME: We already bought him health insurance.

SHANE: Then I'll buy him life insurance.

ME: We already bought him life insurance.

SHANE: Oh man. Y'all buy all the good presents.


Great Grandpa would be proud that he's a thinker, a planner and a worrier. Maybe Alliance found their next president.

Is he really 9? What 9 year old thinks about buying insurance?

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Happy 9th Birthday, Shane!

How are you 9 already?

It seemed like just yesterday, you were a baby. So, in honor of your birthday, I'm going to post some of my favorite pictures of you up to this point.


Yes, he was a premmie, believe it or not!

Aw. Great Grandpa. He is missed.
Shane a baby...
His first steps. 14 months. 6 months. Love this pic!
18 months. Fingerpainting is fun!
Slides are fun to an 18 month old!
I had to get that picture FAST because that snowman was going over...
Aw. Shane loved the sunflowers. 3 years old.
The rooster. Enough said.
The ear and the tounge. Enough said. 4 years old.
What a goofball. 4 years old.
Duckey Sr. and Ducky Jr. warming their feet.
Shane's first self hair cut. Meh. Last day of 1st grade.
Shane as a Greek God. 3rd grade.
Shane - 8 years old. Summer of 2008.
Shane - summer 2008.
Shane - summer 2008.

As you can imagine, it was hard selecting pictures of him that I love because...well...I take so many. He's having a few friends over for lunch and cake and then we're going to Busch Gardens on Saturday. I made him monkey bread for breakfast (breaking my cardinal rule of no sugar for breakfast) and pizza and cake for lunch and out for dinner. Hopefully he won't choose McDonalds. ;)

But, if he does, that will be okay. Because it's his birthday. I'll even let him get fries and a soda if he wants. Because I roll like that.

Happy Birthday, Shane!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Lift The Curse! Lift The Curse!

Sometimes things happen where I just shake my head and say to myself "Hum. I guess she hasn't lifted that curse yet."

Well, this was one of those times.

Shane's room, as always, was a mess. Of course, there were undies and clothes all over the place. Because everyone wants to see his dirty undies.

As a bonus, there were clothes laying all over the floor of his closet.

I called him back upstairs and pointed out everything that needed to be picked up. Including the clothes in the closet.

His response?

"Gawwwwwwd, mom. They're NOT EVEN DIRTY. But, fine. I'll put them in the dirty laundry. Whatever you want."

Oh. My. God. Full circle.

But, it was funny and he was so defiant and didn't see anything wrong with the clean clothes laying on the floor.

Please. Take. The. Curse. Off. Please. :)

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Sheldon Owes Me!

Readers of my blog probably remember a few incidents where my children (okay, more than likely Owen) shared some information or taught Sheldon a few things that her parents necessarily didn't want them too. Other times, they're just plain naughty.

Sheldon is always the good one.

My kids are always the "bad cousins."

Well, not this time, mister.

This time, she owes me an apology.

In writing.

And I fully expect her to draw a picture of a girl standing there with her arms straight out with a rainbow over her.

How am I going to explain this one to Owen's first grade teacher?

And what was it that she taught Owen, you ask?

Well, she taught him that it was okay to say "ass" as long as you say "A-double-snakes."

Oh. My. God.



Susan told me that she said that but I didn't know that she taught it to the kids. However, I'm definitely going to use that one in the future!

Sun Kissed

But, in order to get sun kissed, you first have to get sun burnt.

After that, Shane made sure to put on sunscreen as I instructed him to do. :)

Monday, August 11, 2008

If Only We Were Two Years Old...

If only we were two years old. That would rock for so many reasons. No wrinkles. You would be able to jump up and down without peeing in your pants. (You KNOW what I'm talking about.) But, if you did, it wouldn't matter anyway.

And, wouldn't you love to just be able to pinch the crap out of someone if they made you mad? Without worrying about people looking at you like you've lost your mind. Or, worse yet, having the cops arrest you for assault.

Or the next time you're in the 10 item lane at the grocery store and you realize too late that the woman in front of you has 30 items in her cart, that you could just go up and push her?

Go ahead and admit it. It would be fun. Well. Maybe not fun. But it would give you a bit of satisfaction for a moment.

I decided that I want to be a kid again after watching Mary Mayken and her bff Eleanor.

You see, Mary Mayken and Eleanor have a love/hate relationship. They love to hate each other.

Eleanor decides that she's going to pinch the tar out of Mary Mayken.

But, Mary Mayken isn't taking it. PUSH.

Well, Eleanor decides that she's not done with the fight yet. Note Eleanor's sister beside Mary Mayken. Completely unconcerned. LOL.

that's. just. wrong.

Then the Eleanor's big sister Charlotte steps in. Finally.

But instead of stopping the fight, she just tattles on her little sister.

Of course, I could have stopped them myself. Okay. I should have stopped them. Charlotte is five. I am. Well. Old enough to have stopped it.

But those two were too funny and I just couldn't stop snapping pictures.

But, wait. Eleanor's not done. She isn't giving up on getting Mary Mayken's bow that I had just put back into her hair. (Because I may not be a good aunt and have stopped the fight but she WILL look cute. It's all about priorities, people.)

But, Mary Mayken has had enough. Later.

I so want to be two again. :)