Monday, March 30, 2009

What A Weekend!!!!

I guess that I shouldn't have complained about not liking cherries and having a ruined weekend. I suppose strept throat isn't that bad when you consider what else could happen. I guess that I challenged the gods when I complained and they showed me just whose boss. And it's not me.

And just how bad was our weekend? Well, I'll put it this way. There wasn't much time for a pity party for my strept as Shane, Owen and I are all still sick at home. Happy Monday! Owen started vomiting on Saturday afternoon (at the Y with Ken no less) and didn't stop until late Saturday night.

Instead of feeling sorry for him and snuggling him, I should have stayed as far away as possible because I got what he got on Sunday night. Then Shane woke me up at 5:45sick this morning and hasn't stopped yet.

So the next time I complain about being sick, please remind me that it could be worse. And, once again, on a Monday no-less, I'm flipping it around and reversing it. Looks like Shane will be home tomorrow too. Cross your fingers, toes and everything else that Ken doesn't get this stupid virus.

Oh well. At least I have the rest of the week to get caught up. Oh. Wait. No I don't. They're out of school on Friday.


Saturday, March 28, 2009

I Didn't Ask For The Cherry

Did I ask for a cherry to go on the top of my sundae? No. I don't even like cherries. But I didn't particularly enjoy the sundae that I was served this week either. I'd like a do-over, please.

The weekend was suppose to be my reward for having to cancel last weekend's plans due to Owen barfing all over my car on the way to DC. It was also suppose to be my reward for dealing with the hand that was dealt to me this week.

But instead, I got strept and had to cancel all of my plans for this weekend. Figures.

But, at least the kids have been good. Owen came into my room last night and, in his sweetest little six year old voice, said that he brought me a glass of cold water WITH a bendy straw so I didn't have to reach far for a drink. He then proceeded to ask if I wanted a drink. Of course I said yes.

I shrudder to think about how he got that bendy straw considering that it was in the cabinet on the top shelf.

Oh well. I guess I'll do what the doctor ordered and chill out. Shane said that he didn't understand what the problem was because it's easy to just lay around doing nothing.

Apparently he doesn't know me very well.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

The "Ah" Moment

I've been waiting for this moment. The moment that the boys can start fixing things. And it's finally here.

I was fixing dinner and Owen was busy sharpening his pencil so he could finish his homework. He emptied the pencil sharpener and appeared to have put it back together wrong. I looked at it and it looked broken.

So, I turned to Shane and said "fix it."

And then Shane fiddled with it for a few minutes, took it apart and then put it back together.

Then he said "all done."

Then he said "Owen, please do not sharpen your erasers in the pencil sharpener. It's a pencil sharpener. Not an eraser sharpener."

LOL. The moment that I've been waiting for is finally here. :up:

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Birds and The Bees

There comes a point in every parents life where the subject of the birds and the bees comes up with their kid. Eventually your child is no longer satisfied with the answer that 1) the stork dropped your brother off at the door or 2) babies grow under cabbage patches in the garden.

And they're not buying the above answers because of things that the other kids have said on the playground or at the lunch table. And, sometimes the "other" kid happens to be their brother or sister. Or their cousin. ;)

So when Susan said that Sheldon couldn't stop talking about sex, I immediately started to apologize since there is a history of Owen and Shane teaching their cousin things that Susan and Wilson are not ready to explain.

So you can imagine my relief when she said that Sheldon in fact learned the word "sex" on the playground at school. Whew. We're not responsible. This time.

It did get me to thinking though and I wanted to let Susan know that it's only going downhill from here and to be prepared for the questions. But she can take heart knowing that Sheldon doesn't really know what it is yet.

Exhibit A. When Shane was in second grade, Shane was in bed and called me into his room to ask me about sex. Here's the conversation:

Shane: Mom, what's sex?

Kim: Stuttering I look around for Ken to help but he's conveniently no where to be found. So I took a deep breath and asked him what he thought it was.

Shane: I don't know exactly but a girl in my class said that she was going to have sex with her horse so she can have baby ponies.

Me: Um. Yeah. That's not possible, Shane. (Honestly, I'm not even sure how I didn't lose it right then and there.)

About this point, Ken walks in on the tail end of the conversation and hears Shane's explanation. He looks at me. He looks at Shane and then he spins around on his heels and heads right back out the door.

Thanks, buddy. I appreciate that.

So, I can't tell you when Sheldon will ask more questions. But I will tell you that there will indeed be more. And usually it's at the most inappropriate time or place.

But, at least Susan doesn't have boys who have names for their private parts and take great joy in saying it over and over again, snickering along the way. And, of course, the big boy doesn't help either because when they say it, he snickers too and occasionally adds to their list.

Kids. Sheesh.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Sneaky Chef To The Rescue

I have mentioned more than once that I am at war with my children. Which war you ask? Well, there are more than a few battles going on daily, ones that most every mom has with their kids I'm quite sure.

Getting them to pick up their underwear off the floor. Getting them to put their clothes in the .... gasp ... laundry basket and getting them to put water ... wait for it ... in the dirty dishes in the sink. Sound familiar to you? Yeah. I thought so.

But the particular war I am referring to this time is my war with their eating. I hate all of the processed junky foods. And I hate how manufacturers make things enticing to kids by mislableing products.

"Fruit loops have fruit in them mom. Gaaaaaaawwwwwwdddddd." Sound familiar? Yeah. I thought so. While I'm at it, why does apple sauce and apple juice need high fructose corn syrup in it? Seriously. Isn't it sweet enough?

Therefore, I am a label reader. And if my kids are with me at the grocery store (on those rare days that I am stupid enough to take them with me grocery shopping that is), I make them read the lables too. If the first three ingredients is HFCS, they will say "oh man...she's not going to let us get it."

That's right, boys. I'm mean.

I have already switched them to whole wheat pasta and whole wheat bread. Real whole wheat bread. The bread where the first ingredient is unbleached unbromated whole wheat flour flour not "enriched wheat flour." I have broken them down and they have finally accepted organic peanut butter. Well, Shane still protests every now and then but it does no good. I usually only use whole wheat flour in baking and cooking. So much so that I forget what regular flour looks like.

You get the picture.

A few months ago, I was contacted by the Sneaky Chef author a while back about a blog entry that I did. Her most recent book (The Sneaky Chef To The Rescue) came out and they pritned an exert from my blog in their newest book.

I just love her books. Sure there are great recipes but it's more of a philosophy really. Once you understand her reasoning, it's easy to put her way of cooking into your everyday life and recipes. The best part is that your kids are eating healthy and there are no more battles.

By this stage of the game, I am very honest with my kids about how I cook. They have accepted it (for the most part anyway). They even help me cook and seem to be more willing to eat the foods since they've helped create them. I understand the sneaky part (it's how I started out) but I feel that it's important to teach them how to cook healthy so they understand that you can cook healthy and make it taste good too.

So, if you're fighting the eating battle with your kids, get her book and try some of the recipes. I think that you'll enjoy the battle-free dinner zone. I sure do.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

CRS of The Brain

Have you ever gone to get something from the pantry and forgotten what it was that you went to get?

Then walked back to the stove to continue cooking - all the while hoping that you eventually remember what it was that you needed. Then *bing* you remember and head back to the pantry to retrieve the item.

Then get there and forget what it was again.

Or, have you ever went to the grocery store, paid for your items and then walked out without them?

Raise your hand high if you have done this or something similar. You. Out there. I'm talking to YOU. Yes. You. Stop looking around. *I* know.

I started thinking about this the other day when I went to pick up my dry cleaning, paid for it and turned to leave when I heard the clerk say "Miss...your dry cleaning."

I spun around (because I was already at the door and halfway out), walked back and got my dry cleaning and, looking at the ground, said "oh yeah. Thanks." Of course there were at least 3 other people there. All staring at me.

While I thought that they were shaking their heads with disgust for my stupidity, they were probably just happy that it was me instead of them.

So, if you haven't raised your hand high yet acknowledging that you have had a "senior moment" like these, you're either lying or in denial. Or have forgotten.

But bad thing is that I'm not even a senior yet so I can't even claim senioritis. I suppose I could blame it on in Can't Remember *Stuff.* Yep. That's it. CRS of the Brain.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Just A Little Tardy

Before you say anything to me, I realize that it snowed weeks ago. Hopefully snow is a distant memory but since I *forgot* to put up the pictures from our most recent snow day, I thought that I'd share them now. I know I'm tardy in posting them but I've already admitted on more than one occassion that I suck at sharing pictures.

Feel free to come back here in July when we're complaining about the heat to lovingly look back at the cold days of winter.

Because that's what we do. Complain about what we don't have. If it's hot, we want it cold. If it's cold, we want it hot. Okay. Maybe that's me only!

Anyway, the snow was DEEP. We got almost 10 1/2 inches of snow. In March no less. I'm surprised that the schools ever reopened. LOL.

Owen was ready to go outside as soon as he got up! But, this time I regulated what they put on so he didn't wear 5 pair of underwear like he did last time. I'm not exaggerating that number. 5 pair of undies.

Owen was ready to snowball fight. Except he forgot that I had a shovel in my hand. Bawhahahahahahahahaha.

I'm not sure how Shane saw with his hat pulled down like it was but somehow he managed.

This is what I was after shoveling the driveway. Grumpy. :)

Say it with me. Snow, snow go away come again some winter day!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

One Of Those Videos

Ken and I like to watch music videos and every once in a while, we'll come across one that just makes you say "wow...that was a great video." This is one of those times.


Happy Saturday!

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Things Kids Say...Part 2

I bought Shane a vibration reduction thing for his tennis racket. It's a rubbery type of thing that connects to the racket and it's suppose to reduce the vibration from the racket to his hand and arm. I told Shane that I would put it on his racket tonight.

Owen pipes up and says "Mom, I want a vibrator too."

After I picked myself up off of the floor, I proceeded to explain to Owen that it wasn't called a vibrator but he just kept repeating it over and over.

Isn't it funny how changing the ending on a word can completely change the meaning of the word.

I just hope that Owen doesn't go to school and tell his friends that his mommy bought Shane a vibrator.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Organization Gone Awry

Katie, from the first time I saw them, I loved your organized cabinets with all of your flours and cereals neatly stacked and organized in modern Tupperware containers. Or should I say cabinet...because it is the only one that I'm allowed to look in since apparently the rest look like my cabinets. ;)

So, when I received the invitation to your Tupperware party, I couldn't resist stopping by. I've been in a clean it up, clear it out and organize it mode so this was perfect timing. Besides the fact that you make a tasty little margarita. Which is probably what led me to believe that I could have a cabinet like your cabinet.

Heh. I had cabinet envy. That's funny.

Anywho, when I went to gathered the ingredients for my chicken pot pie last night, I grabbed for the white flour in it's neat little Tupperware container (because I felt bad using my usual whole wheat flour in gravy). That was my first mistake. I should have just used the good for you stuff.

I should back up here and say that for a second day in a row, I had planned dinner in advance (because I was going to DC for a cocktail party) and was going to use the chicken that I had cooked from the previous day's dinner debacle. That was my second mistake. I should have left them sandwiches instead and taken a nap.

But, being the good mom that I am, I made dinner for them. If you haven't made chicken pot pie before, the first step is to make the gravy for the pie filling. Now, I am a southern girl and I know how to make gravy.

So, as I was talking on the phone, washing laundry and emptying the dishwasher, I was stirring my gravy (mistake #3). It wasn't getting any thicker so I kept adding more flour. My fourth mistake was actually measuring out the flour. I should have thrown it in with my hands.

But, 30 minutes later, it didn't look right. I figured that I had added too much butter (because it was greasy, which it never is) so I dumped it out and started over. I still had 30 minutes to spare so I made it again. I really, really wasn't giving up.

The second batch came out better but there wasn't much gravy (it still didn't look right though) but screw it. I had to go get in the shower so I poured it over the chicken and veggies.

And then I tasted it.

And it was super sweet.

What in the hell?

All the sudden, a light bulb went off over my head just like the cartoons. I backed up and stuck my finger in the flour and tasted it.

It wasn't white flour at all. It was confectionary sugar.

I guess that tells you how much I cook with white flour. And, well, that would explain why it didn't look like gravy either.

Because it wasn't. It was an unplanned science experiment.

And the kids had sandwiches for dinner. What I should have planned for them to have in the first place.

But, Katie, I still love your organized cabinets. It was good in theory and I get an A for effort but a D for follow through and foresight. I guess that's what I get for being organized but I suppose I didn't take the organization far enough. I'll be getting out the ol' label maker and labeling everything this weekend.

The label for the confectionery sugar will read "confectionery sugar, stoopid."

And....yet the bottle of peroxide strikes again.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The New IMPROVED American History Museum

As the two readers of my blog probably know by now, we live outside of Washington, DC. The best thing about living near the city (besides living outside of the city!) is having easy access to all the free things that it has to offer while the tourists are away.

One of those free things is the Smithsonian Museums. One of our favorites is the American History Museum. It has been closed for the last two years for rennovations and recently re-opened. So we decided to be good parents on Presidents Day Weekend and take the kids to DC for the weekend.

First stop...the newly rennovated American History Museum. It's fabulous. Just fabulous. A few of your favorite Americana:

Is there anything more American than Mickey Mouse? I know that you can sing the song...MIC - see you real soon - KEY - why? because we like you...M-O-U-S-E.

Yes. I know that everyone likes Bugs the best but my favorite is Wiley. I kinda felt sorry for him. He just never could get the Road Runner. Meep-meep!

If you can't identify this, you weren't watching TV in the 1990's.

Everyone loves a Grouch. Well, Oscar, anyway. I loved his little worm slimey.

Who didn't love Kermit? Seriously. I had/have a Kermit like this. Owen asked why my Kermit was in the display case. LOL

Remember the Boom Box? Yeah. The bigger the better. Boom Box, people. Boom Box.

There's no place like home. There's no place like home. Click. Click. Click.

If you're a southerner and don't recognize this hat, you need to defect to the north. Now.

Haha. Low Ri-der...

What would the American History Museum be without Star Wars in it?

Nothing more Americana than Earnhardt Sr. God rest his soul.

Political history? Yeah. It's covered.

There is also a fabulous area for kids that is set up like a children's museum with hands-on activities.

This activity is cool. The kitchen tools are all magnetic and can be moved around the board. The object is to drop the ball down and let it run through the obstacles (like a pinball machine) and send the ball through a hole at the bottom.

It all works perfectly until some little kid comes up and grabs that one piece that would have made it work perfectly. ;)

The SparkLab is an area set up for kids to learn about science. The boys, of course, loved it and several of the exhibits were focused on things that they are learning in school (electrical currents, etc.)

This particular exhibit asks kids to determine which one is stronger. I can't remember which materials were used but Owen made sure to correct the little girl on it and to explain to her why the one was stronger.

We never made it to the Abe Lincoln exhibit - the real reason for going up there. But, that's okay because we're so close, we can just go back.

There was so much in this museum. Seriously. It's fantastic. And the best thing is that it's free. If you're in DC, check it out. It's well worth your time!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Derailed By Another Blond Moment...Doh

I hate it when I actually think ahead about dinner (like more than five minutes before we're suppose to eat) and actually have everything thawed out and am derailed by a blond moment. But the really bad thing is that I have absolutely no one to blame but myself since I'm the only one who cooks in the house.

So, now my yummy grilled chicken salad is going to be baked chicken since I forgot to turn off the gas grill last time I used it and all of the gas drained out of it. Doh. I'm such a blond sometimes.

But, I guess I should be happy that I could even bake it since half the time my wacked out oven doesn't work. Unfortunately, I've got to head out the door to after school activities which will keep us out until 7:00 so there was no time to do anything other than throw it in the oven and just cook it.

I so need a chef. And a personal assistant to go behind me and stop the blond moments before they happen.


Friday, March 6, 2009

It Doesn't Go There!

Note to Mary Mayken: Diaper Cream does NOT go THERE!

I wonder what in the hell the kitty cat did to Mary Mayken, my naughty two year old niece, to deserve this? Apparently something really bad because she put her diaper cream all over their poor kitty.

I wonder if the kitty then rolled in the freshly laundered and folded clothes just to add to the fun of it all.

Well, it's not like she doesn't have a track record of putting diaper cream on other places other than where it's suppose to go. Like her own face. Note to Mary Mayken: diaper cream doesn't go there either.

She's also been known to put ointment in her hair. I dub this picture "ointment head." And last note to Mary Mayken: ointment doesn't go there either.

Hahahahahahahaha. Good one, Mary Mayken! Keep it up. Owen's really looking like the angel right now. I hope that your mommy finds the missing tube of diaper cream before you victimize something or someone else.

No wait. No I don't. That's funny. :up:

Love The Logic

Shane: We should go out to breakfast tomorrow morning.

ME: Why?

Shane: Because Daddy's out of town and he's not eating bad for you food like IHOP. Besides, he's out of town having fun so why shouldn't we be having fun too?


Gotta love that logic! Sometimes his logic actually works for me instead of against me. ;)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Boys...Gotta Love Them

The kids have been out of school for two days for snow so yesterday and I couldn't put off errands any longer. While we were out, I decide to take them to lunch at Long John Silvers. Since it was 12:30, the restaurant was packed.

As we were getting up to leave, Owen stands up in the middle of the restaurant and burps as loud as he can. And it was LOUD. As everyone is turning to look at him, he yells "YEAH BABY!" and put his fist in the air.

And, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

I tell him to come on and be quiet and he yells in an equally loud voice, "WHAT MOM? THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!"

Well, he was right. It was a good one. And I guess I can't really say anything since he got that "talent" from my side of the family.

But, still. Even I wouldn't have done it that loud in public.

And, if it wasn't bad enough that everyone was looking at us already, Shane goes up to the gratitude bell and rings it as loudly as he can and tells them thank you that lunch was yummy.

Boys...Gotta Love Them.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

So, You Were Right Dad...Boys Really Are This Stupid!

Wow. Are boys really this stupid?

Apparently they are. And, I apparently knew nothing of what I was getting myself into when I had these two boys who have provided endless entertainment since coming into our lives.

But I can't say that I wasn't warned by my dad about boys concerning certain things that boys do that make absolutely no sense but they do it anyway. Of course, he decided to wait until after I had them to warn me.

I can't even remember now what brought up the conversation. It was a strange conversation, filled with him laughing so hard I could hardly understand him. There was also a conversation between him and my mom where he wondered if he should even tell me or just let me find out myself.

Well, dad, at the time I thought that you were absolutely nuts and who would do THAT to someone else? I can't believe that I have to raise two (well, three if you count Ken) of these species and have this to look forward to for the next ten years.

But now I know that, in fact dad, you are smart (okay - what you did wasn't smart) but I should apologize to you for ever doubting what you said as anything other than gospel because the other day I saw Shane turn to his brother and pinch his boob as hard as he could. Just as you said they would when they got older.

I asked Shane what in the heck was he doing and Shane replied in a matter-of-fact answer "a purple nurple" and goes on to explain that it's also called a "titty twitch."

Oh my Lord. Seriously? My mind races back to the conversation that I had with my dad about this and his words were coming true.

So this morning after brunch, I asked Ken if he knew about this and he started laughing and confirmed that he and his friends did this too only they called it "titty twists." He goes onto say that they also did Indian burns, thumps on the head, punch each other hard on the arm if the "victim" flinched.

Dear Lord. This must be an across the generation stupidity for it seems that all boys do this and all men did this when they were boys. My dad even called them "titty twisters" too I think.

So, Ken finished our conversation by quoting Louis C.K., a comedian who said that boys are destructive and girls just eat your heart. So true. And, of course, now Owen has picked up on this and is chasing Shane around yelling "PURPLE NURPLE!!!!"

I really can't understand boys and why this is "fun." But I'm here to tell you if they ever try to do a purple nurple on me, they're going to lose some fingers in the process. And that goes for Ken too. ;)