Derailed By Another Blond Moment...Doh

I hate it when I actually think ahead about dinner (like more than five minutes before we're suppose to eat) and actually have everything thawed out and am derailed by a blond moment. But the really bad thing is that I have absolutely no one to blame but myself since I'm the only one who cooks in the house.

So, now my yummy grilled chicken salad is going to be baked chicken since I forgot to turn off the gas grill last time I used it and all of the gas drained out of it. Doh. I'm such a blond sometimes.

But, I guess I should be happy that I could even bake it since half the time my wacked out oven doesn't work. Unfortunately, I've got to head out the door to after school activities which will keep us out until 7:00 so there was no time to do anything other than throw it in the oven and just cook it.

I so need a chef. And a personal assistant to go behind me and stop the blond moments before they happen.

Meh.

It Doesn't Go There!

Note to Mary Mayken: Diaper Cream does NOT go THERE!

I wonder what in the hell the kitty cat did to Mary Mayken, my naughty two year old niece, to deserve this? Apparently something really bad because she put her diaper cream all over their poor kitty.



I wonder if the kitty then rolled in the freshly laundered and folded clothes just to add to the fun of it all.

Well, it's not like she doesn't have a track record of putting diaper cream on other places other than where it's suppose to go. Like her own face. Note to Mary Mayken: diaper cream doesn't go there either.



She's also been known to put ointment in her hair. I dub this picture "ointment head." And last note to Mary Mayken: ointment doesn't go there either.



Hahahahahahahaha. Good one, Mary Mayken! Keep it up. Owen's really looking like the angel right now. I hope that your mommy finds the missing tube of diaper cream before you victimize something or someone else.

No wait. No I don't. That's funny. :up:

Love The Logic

Shane: We should go out to breakfast tomorrow morning.

ME: Why?

Shane: Because Daddy's out of town and he's not eating bad for you food like IHOP. Besides, he's out of town having fun so why shouldn't we be having fun too?

Heh.

Gotta love that logic! Sometimes his logic actually works for me instead of against me. ;)

Boys...Gotta Love Them

The kids have been out of school for two days for snow so yesterday and I couldn't put off errands any longer. While we were out, I decide to take them to lunch at Long John Silvers. Since it was 12:30, the restaurant was packed.

As we were getting up to leave, Owen stands up in the middle of the restaurant and burps as loud as he can. And it was LOUD. As everyone is turning to look at him, he yells "YEAH BABY!" and put his fist in the air.

And, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

I tell him to come on and be quiet and he yells in an equally loud voice, "WHAT MOM? THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!"

Well, he was right. It was a good one. And I guess I can't really say anything since he got that "talent" from my side of the family.

But, still. Even I wouldn't have done it that loud in public.

And, if it wasn't bad enough that everyone was looking at us already, Shane goes up to the gratitude bell and rings it as loudly as he can and tells them thank you that lunch was yummy.

Boys...Gotta Love Them.

So, You Were Right Dad...Boys Really Are This Stupid!

Wow. Are boys really this stupid?

Apparently they are. And, I apparently knew nothing of what I was getting myself into when I had these two boys who have provided endless entertainment since coming into our lives.

But I can't say that I wasn't warned by my dad about boys concerning certain things that boys do that make absolutely no sense but they do it anyway. Of course, he decided to wait until after I had them to warn me.

I can't even remember now what brought up the conversation. It was a strange conversation, filled with him laughing so hard I could hardly understand him. There was also a conversation between him and my mom where he wondered if he should even tell me or just let me find out myself.

Well, dad, at the time I thought that you were absolutely nuts and who would do THAT to someone else? I can't believe that I have to raise two (well, three if you count Ken) of these species and have this to look forward to for the next ten years.

But now I know that, in fact dad, you are smart (okay - what you did wasn't smart) but I should apologize to you for ever doubting what you said as anything other than gospel because the other day I saw Shane turn to his brother and pinch his boob as hard as he could. Just as you said they would when they got older.

I asked Shane what in the heck was he doing and Shane replied in a matter-of-fact answer "a purple nurple" and goes on to explain that it's also called a "titty twitch."

Oh my Lord. Seriously? My mind races back to the conversation that I had with my dad about this and his words were coming true.

So this morning after brunch, I asked Ken if he knew about this and he started laughing and confirmed that he and his friends did this too only they called it "titty twists." He goes onto say that they also did Indian burns, thumps on the head, punch each other hard on the arm if the "victim" flinched.

Dear Lord. This must be an across the generation stupidity for it seems that all boys do this and all men did this when they were boys. My dad even called them "titty twisters" too I think.

So, Ken finished our conversation by quoting Louis C.K., a comedian who said that boys are destructive and girls just eat your heart. So true. And, of course, now Owen has picked up on this and is chasing Shane around yelling "PURPLE NURPLE!!!!"

I really can't understand boys and why this is "fun." But I'm here to tell you if they ever try to do a purple nurple on me, they're going to lose some fingers in the process. And that goes for Ken too. ;)