So, You Were Right Dad...Boys Really Are This Stupid!

Wow. Are boys really this stupid?

Apparently they are. And, I apparently knew nothing of what I was getting myself into when I had these two boys who have provided endless entertainment since coming into our lives.

But I can't say that I wasn't warned by my dad about boys concerning certain things that boys do that make absolutely no sense but they do it anyway. Of course, he decided to wait until after I had them to warn me.

I can't even remember now what brought up the conversation. It was a strange conversation, filled with him laughing so hard I could hardly understand him. There was also a conversation between him and my mom where he wondered if he should even tell me or just let me find out myself.

Well, dad, at the time I thought that you were absolutely nuts and who would do THAT to someone else? I can't believe that I have to raise two (well, three if you count Ken) of these species and have this to look forward to for the next ten years.

But now I know that, in fact dad, you are smart (okay - what you did wasn't smart) but I should apologize to you for ever doubting what you said as anything other than gospel because the other day I saw Shane turn to his brother and pinch his boob as hard as he could. Just as you said they would when they got older.

I asked Shane what in the heck was he doing and Shane replied in a matter-of-fact answer "a purple nurple" and goes on to explain that it's also called a "titty twitch."

Oh my Lord. Seriously? My mind races back to the conversation that I had with my dad about this and his words were coming true.

So this morning after brunch, I asked Ken if he knew about this and he started laughing and confirmed that he and his friends did this too only they called it "titty twists." He goes onto say that they also did Indian burns, thumps on the head, punch each other hard on the arm if the "victim" flinched.

Dear Lord. This must be an across the generation stupidity for it seems that all boys do this and all men did this when they were boys. My dad even called them "titty twisters" too I think.

So, Ken finished our conversation by quoting Louis C.K., a comedian who said that boys are destructive and girls just eat your heart. So true. And, of course, now Owen has picked up on this and is chasing Shane around yelling "PURPLE NURPLE!!!!"

I really can't understand boys and why this is "fun." But I'm here to tell you if they ever try to do a purple nurple on me, they're going to lose some fingers in the process. And that goes for Ken too. ;)