Every Parents Nightmare

The innocent conversation starts out like this.

Kid:  Mom, my head itches.

Parent:  Oh no!

And then the chaos begins.

If you're a parent, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

It's the L word that no one wants to hear or acknowledge and especially not deal with.  And every parent has had that moment where their you-know-what wrinked tightly because they knew exactly what they will  have to deal with if their kid has lice.

And sometimes you get lucky and dodge the bullet.

And others, you're not so lucky.

So then you're left with dealing with lice.

And let's just go ahead and call it what I now refer to it as: f'ing lice.  (This is cleaned up for my mom.)

And as you have probably already figured out, we weren't so lucky this time and didn't dodge the bullet.

And instead of going through it all over again, I'll just cut and paste a copy of an email that I sent to my friend last night at 10:57 last night.

Dear Friend:

well f&$*

Shane and Owen have lice. 

Owen said his head itched so I checked him and sure enough I found a lice.  Ewwww.  Gross.  And then I checked Shane and sure enough.  Ewwww.  Gross.  We had a scare about a year ago (my nieces were over here and they had it) so I had lice killing shampoo and everything.  I shampooed them to kill the lice.  And then combed through their hair.  And then stripped all of the sheets and sprayed the beds down.

And then washed the sheets and continued operation freak the f&$* out. 

Did I mention that it was 9:30 pm when this all started?

Or that Owen had just pulled his tooth out?

He was so excited and I was like...whatever.  Put it over there.  We have to deal with your LICE.  Ewwww....f&$*....ewwww

I am *so* wrapping up parent of the year award!

So I didn't see any eggs.  There were only a few (f&$*ing gross) lice so maybe I caught it early.

I f&$*ing hope so.

So, needless to say, I'm not sure what's going to happen tomorrow.  I'll probably keep them out of school.   F&$*

I'll have to call the school (both of them) and ask what the policies are..

F&$*

Don't hold the meeting for me.

F&$*

At this point, I'll apologize to my mother for my potty mouth.  I'm sorry mom.  Really I am.  It was just the "perfect" word for the oh-so-sucky occasion.

Anywho, my day started out at 5:30 this morning with me continuing the laundry that has now piled up from last night.  And that has been an ongoing thing since then.  I hope my washer and dryer survives it!

I also took a trip over to the elementary school, where I saw Owen's poor teacher in the nurse's office getting checked.  I apologized profusely and reminded her that Ken brought her chic-fil-a last week.  Somehow I don't think that makes up for it if she, or her class, ends up with L.

The nurse checked all three of us.  No nits or lice and cleared Owen to go back to school.  Whew.  Not the school part but the fact that there weren't any nits.

And then we took a trip over to Shane's school where the nurse there also checked and cleared us.  (Might I add that Shane was mortified that his friends would see Owen and I in the school and asked if he could go when classes weren't changing.  Ha.  Bonus!)

And then we proceeded to go to Wal Mart (ugh...mom would even agree that the f bomb was appropriate here) and then to Wegmans to get the groceries.  And should I just say that the boys were on their very best behavior as they always are at the grocery store.  :/

After that, we came home where I proceeded to continue doing laundry and vacuuming anything and everything.  I also considered taking valium, which I probably would have had I have had some.  Because this day has tee-totally sucked.  TOTALLY.

We then jumped in the car and went to the barber.  Where the boys proceeded to get their hair cut.  Because why not?

First up, Owen.  He totally wanted a buzz cut but I just couldn't do it.  Had he have had nits, he would be rocking that do totally!

Shane was next.  Cut it off baby!

I think that they think it's a joke.  This ain't no joke.  This sucks!

All I can say is thank the lord that Shane is no longer rocking the Shaney Ray Cyrus mullet!

So here I sit on the couch with the washer and dryer going and eating my dinner.  A bowl of Lucky Charms.  Because why not?  I deserve it!  I suppose it could be worse.  There are far, far worse things that a parent has to deal with but this pretty much hits the top of the list of sucky things about being a parent.

And now I'm going to write "eradicate f'ing lice" on my to-do list and then put a half a check by it.  Because I'm not fooling myself that it's over.  But I'm hoping that it will be a full-on check soon!