The Birds and The Bees

There comes a point in every parents life where the subject of the birds and the bees comes up with their kid. Eventually your child is no longer satisfied with the answer that 1) the stork dropped your brother off at the door or 2) babies grow under cabbage patches in the garden.

And they're not buying the above answers because of things that the other kids have said on the playground or at the lunch table. And, sometimes the "other" kid happens to be their brother or sister. Or their cousin. ;)

So when Susan said that Sheldon couldn't stop talking about sex, I immediately started to apologize since there is a history of Owen and Shane teaching their cousin things that Susan and Wilson are not ready to explain.

So you can imagine my relief when she said that Sheldon in fact learned the word "sex" on the playground at school. Whew. We're not responsible. This time.

It did get me to thinking though and I wanted to let Susan know that it's only going downhill from here and to be prepared for the questions. But she can take heart knowing that Sheldon doesn't really know what it is yet.

Exhibit A. When Shane was in second grade, Shane was in bed and called me into his room to ask me about sex. Here's the conversation:

Shane: Mom, what's sex?

Kim: Stuttering I look around for Ken to help but he's conveniently no where to be found. So I took a deep breath and asked him what he thought it was.

Shane: I don't know exactly but a girl in my class said that she was going to have sex with her horse so she can have baby ponies.

Me: Um. Yeah. That's not possible, Shane. (Honestly, I'm not even sure how I didn't lose it right then and there.)

About this point, Ken walks in on the tail end of the conversation and hears Shane's explanation. He looks at me. He looks at Shane and then he spins around on his heels and heads right back out the door.

Thanks, buddy. I appreciate that.

So, I can't tell you when Sheldon will ask more questions. But I will tell you that there will indeed be more. And usually it's at the most inappropriate time or place.

But, at least Susan doesn't have boys who have names for their private parts and take great joy in saying it over and over again, snickering along the way. And, of course, the big boy doesn't help either because when they say it, he snickers too and occasionally adds to their list.

Kids. Sheesh.