The Typical Grocery Shopping - With Kids

Everytime I take the kids to the grocery store with me, I wonder why in the heck did I do this to myself? Didn't I learn my lesson from last time? Apparently not.

My kids love to lay across the bottom of the cart and ride their way through on the bottom of the store grocery cart and it drives me bonkers because there is one cart and two kids and that is just a fight waiting to happen.

Our trip to the grocery store usually goes like this:

ME: Outside the store: "You're not crawling under the cart. I can't push the cart if you're under it. Besides it's not safe."

SHANE and OWEN: "Okay, mommy."





In the first isle, I stop to get bread. Owen sneaks under the cart and is ready to be pushed.


SHANE : THAT'S NOT FAIR! I WANT TO RIDE UNDER THE CART. (Of course this is in the absolutely loudest voice possible attracting every other parents disapproving looks.)

OWEN: Too bad. I got here first. Neeener...(sticks tounge out at Shane because whatelse is he going to do? Plus, he's already won the first round. Score: Owen 1.)













Me: STOP IT, Owen. Get out from under the cart. I'm sorry, Shane. You can have a turn next trip. By this point, I'm defeated. I just want to survive this grocery shop trip and get out with some money left in the bank.





Isle 4: Owen gets out from under the cart so he can grab some cookies and "sneak" them into the cart. Yeah, Owen, you're slick. At that point, I'm distracted with getting the cookies from Owen and putting them back onto the shelf.











SHANE: Sees the opportunity and runs like hell for the cart and crams his 8 year old body underneath. His legs are sticking out by a mile but he doens't care because he's one-upped his brother.



Score: Owen, 1, Shane 1.

OWEN: THAT'S NOT FAIR, SHAAAAANNNNNEEE. I was under there!!!!!! (Of course this is in the absolutely loudest voice possible attracting every other parents disapproving looks.)

SHANE : TOO BAD! (sticks tounge out at Owen. Neener, neener, neener.)

ME: Knock it off you two. I mean it!

Meanwhile, I'm pushing the cart (and we're only halfway done with the grocery shopping) and Shane's legs are knocking everything over and Owen is darting all over the place.

And, so the cycle goes until they've had equal turns under the cart.

Remember...I said no kids under the cart in the grocery store.

Back in the car:

OWEN: We were good in there, weren't we, mommy? They are in total agreement about this one!

SHANE : Did you get us the cookies like you said that you would if we were good, mommy?

ME: Braces myself for the argument whether they were good or not.

So, if you're reading this and you have or had kids and don't relate to it, either 1) you're not taking your kids to the grocery store with you enough, or 2) you only have one child. If you would like to experience this for yourself, come get Shane and Owen and take them with you the next time you go shopping. Just buy some beer at the store. Because you're going to need it when you get home!